Get unrivaled access to Martin's most premium moments — cooking photos, unsolicited opinions on tabs vs. spaces, and the rare, coveted candid gym selfie.
Every subscription tier unlocks a carefully curated selection of content that only the most dedicated Martin fans deserve.
Mirror selfies. Gym mirrors. Kitchen mirrors. Martin has many mirrors and he is not afraid to use them.
Ask Martin anything. He will answer confidently regardless of whether he knows the answer. A fan favourite.
Direct messages with Martin. Response time: 3–14 business days. Quality of response: unknowable.
Weekly photos of meals that Martin definitely made himself and did not order from Deliveroo. Plating is rustic.
Follow along as Martin's gym streak survives exactly until February each year. Raw. Unfiltered. Relatable.
Watch Martin die repeatedly in games while explaining in great detail why it was not his fault. Educational.
Genuine testimonials from real subscribers. Martin approved every single one personally.
"I subscribed as a joke and now I genuinely look forward to Martin's Monday morning takes on why his coffee machine is broken. My life has changed."
"The cooking photo where the pasta looks like a punishment should be in a museum. I have it as my phone wallpaper. I am thriving."
"3 stars because the DM response took 11 days and was just a thumbs up emoji. But honestly… fair enough. That was the content. I get it now."
Because Martin is not complicated. Neither is this.